well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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