I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
