I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
