I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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