WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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