WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
