I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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