You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
