found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
