i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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