did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
