You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
