I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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