my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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