when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
