is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
BRING THE BAGELS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize