So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ugly people sure do ruin things
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
