Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
