brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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