margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
