I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
