Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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