there was a trapeze. enough said
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
