Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
