Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
