so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
