Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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