Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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