Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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