omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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