I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
