So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
