I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
