You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
