I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize