Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Panties = found
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
