i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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