I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
