Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
