Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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