i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
