I am in a vortex of obligation.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
