She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Vodka?
Forever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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