btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
