i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
why does every cop we meet know your name?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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