Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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