College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
