Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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