No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
