2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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