okay pat passed out under dana's car
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
