I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
