I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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