you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
