yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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