things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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