I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
