Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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