i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
