Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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