i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
